Welcome to the Widow’s Travel Club: Tips to Get Started Again

How can we be more attuned to ‘the surviving partners’ when we travel?

Be aware when one person seems to be on their own

When I was in Africa two years ago, the one moment I felt very alone and sad was when we arrived at our first camp, which looked out over a vast plain with wild zebras, elephants, and giraffes wandering around in their element. People lined up for photos, in pairs, in groups, and in families, with this magnificent background. Finally, I asked if someone would take a photo of me. By myself. I so wanted to be in someone’s group.

Be aware when one person seems to be separate from the group and invite them into whatever moment you are sharing. Meals can be painful if someone is not used to dining solo, so consider inviting that person to join you, whether it is a picnic on the deck of a catamaran or an evening meal on a cruise.

Seating is also important. Singles often hate going out with married couples as they feel like “the Odd One Out”.  I suggest not sitting by the usual boy, girl, boy, girl, boy, girl rule with the Odd-One-Out at the end. Put the O-O-O in the middle!

Dining alone. Sometimes nice, sometimes lonely.

When you see someone eating alone, there is no need to say, “I see you are alone.” Why not try another approach like “We saw you earlier today buying a lovely scarf in the market. Do come and tell us what other goodies you found.” Or at another meal: “We’ve saved you a seat with us – I hope you’ll come join.” 

If the solo traveller you meet mentions her late husband or wife, don’t hush up in discomfort. Ask more about him/her (men, though technically called widowers) who are in the same position. Ask about their past travels, as well as future plans. But make them aware that they are every bit as interesting as themselves and not half of a couple.