For Tracee Ellis Ross, solo travel comes with a mixed bag of emotions: ‘Joy, loneliness, grief, delight’
4 min read
Tracee Ellis Ross is a revered actress and co-CEO of Pattern, the haircare company she founded in 2019. Ross’ newest endeavor is her new show that follows along as she travels the world on her own, embraces her individuality, and skirts the societal expectations for women in their 50s.
At 52, Ross sometimes feels the weight of other people’s opinions — positive and negative — about her being unpartnered and child-free.
On her show, Solo Traveling with Tracee Ellis Ross, she takes viewers along as she goes from destination to destination by herself, and aims to shift that narrative that others tend to have about her life, by leaning into solitude.
“I mean Oprah said it, she said I’m the poster child for singledom. I don’t wanna be that,” Ross says in show’s the first episode. “I wanna be the poster child for being and inhabiting your own skin, for living in your own skin.”
The series is available on the Roku Channel and in the show’s three episodes, Ross travels to Morocco, Mexico and Spain.
I wanna be the poster child for being and inhabiting your own skin.
Tracee Ellis Ross
Actress
Throughout her adventures, Ross tastes different olive oils, supports a female-run restaurant and takes a cocktail-making class. Sometimes she has not-so-great experiences like a change of plans because of the weather and feeling lonely after a solo dinner. But Ross embraces it all.
“So much of what solo traveling is about, for me, [is] not waiting for something in order to walk towards my life, in order to be in my life, in order to experience my life. I think that was why I took my first trip solo,” Ross said.
“Not having a relationship, a long long relationship, not having children has allowed me to explore things of my own humanity. It has deposited me here at 52 in an extraordinary experience that is filled with joy, loneliness, grief, exuberance, delight, like literally all of it, and I feel available to it.”
Solo traveling can expose you to both good and bad things—and get you out of your comfort zone
There are pros and cons to any experience, says Millie Huckabee, licensed clinical professional counselor and founder and CEO of Sage Therapy. Solo traveling is no different.
When solo traveling, there’s “so much opportunity for things to come up. You’re in an unfamiliar situation,” says Huckabee who spent two weeks exploring Malawi on her own in her past.
“You’re exposed to things that are outside of your everyday experience, which can be good and bad. That sort of mixed bag [of emotions] is part of that.”
Some positive effects that visiting places alone can have on a person are:
- Getting you out of your comfort zone
- Allowing you to meet new people
- Opening you up to novel experiences
- Increasing feelings of joy, awe and empowerment
- Allowing you to gain more insight and think about things more deeply
On the flip side, Huckabee says solo travel can also cause you to:
- Look inward and feel emotions you may have distracted yourself from
- Reminisce about past travel experiences or wonder how different your trip would be if you weren’t alone
- Feel lonely, especially when you see other people traveling together
- Navigate challenging situations on your own
Challenging your worldview can be so good, and it can be really hard, too.
Millie Huckabee
Founder and CEO of Sage Therapy
To prepare for the ups and downs that may come with visiting places alone, Huckabee suggests being optimistic about your trip while acknowledging it won’t be perfect, and developing safety precautions like knowing where you can receive medical care and having translation apps ready to communicate with residents of the country.
It can also help to have good coping strategies you can reach for when you’re feeling lonely, she says. These tools can range from reaching out to loved ones who boost your mood, or journaling and recording voice memos to process your emotions.
“Opening your mind and challenging your worldview can be so good, and it can be really hard, too. But I don’t know, I highly recommend it,” Huckabee says.
“You can really learn great things about yourself and really develop amazing relationships with new people that you never would have met otherwise.”
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