I moved back to the US after 6 years abroad, but the comforts of home feel more isolating than ever

I knew early on that I wanted to front-load my travels — to see the world while I had the freedom and energy instead of waiting until retirement.

I spent my 20s chasing adventure across the globe — motorcycling through Vietnam’s rugged north, trekking to remote ruins in Nepal, and camping under the stars in the Sahara Desert.

Every new destination brought fresh experiences, deep friendships, and plenty of self-discovery.

But after six years of living out of a backpack, it dawned on me that although my life felt very wide, it also felt rather shallow. Just as I’d start to settle into one place, I’d pick up and move again.

I realized I was craving something more rooted — a life that wasn’t just full of new experiences but grounded in something lasting.

The decision to return to the US came naturally. My partner was starting law school in the fall of 2023, and with my 30th birthday on the horizon, I figured it was time to plant some roots.

Now, a year later, the transition hasn’t been as seamless as I expected. Although I chalked up the initial adjustment to the usual post-move struggles, there are still parts of life back home that feel out of sync.

Here are the biggest challenges I’ve faced since returning to the US after living abroad.

I miss not having to rely on a car to get around

While I was abroad, daily life often felt simpler, more connected, and easier to navigate without a car. I walked nearly everywhere I went or hopped on public transportation to get around.

Running errands wasn’t just a chore but a sensory experience — whether I was picking up freshly caught fish at a seafood market in Morocco or chatting with my tortilla supplier in Mexico.

Even when I lived outside a small town on the side of a volcano in Guatemala, just a short walk took me to local produce stands, cozy cafés, and scenic hiking trails.

In contrast, life in the US feels more segmented and car-dependent. Here in St. Louis, I have to drive everywhere. Even walking home with more than a few bags of groceries feels odd — like I’m stepping outside the norm in a culture where people prefer to drive, stock up, and keep their routines streamlined.

Abroad, trips to local markets felt like an everyday rhythm, a quick stop woven into the day’s flow.

Here, buying in bulk is the norm, and even farmers’ markets often feel more like expensive weekend activities than a true source of daily sustenance, adding to the feeling that something’s missing from the simple pleasures of everyday life.

Work-life balance feels impossible in the US

One of the biggest differences I’ve noticed since moving back to the US is the relentless grind. Everyone here is always busy — always working, as if being a good person means being chained to your to-do list.

I’ve been self-employed since my second year of traveling, but abroad, the pace felt entirely different. Even with my flexible schedule, daily life was more balanced, and work didn’t dominate everything.

I could actually take time to enjoy each day — whether lingering over chai with a shopkeeper in India or savoring the siesta culture in Latin America.

In the US, there’s this underlying pressure to be available and productive at all times, and the idea of stepping away from work feels almost rebellious.

I find myself missing the slower pace and the daily rituals that prioritize joy and human connection over ticking off another task from a list.

I found it easier to make friends abroad

Living abroad in expat or digital-nomad communities made building friendships feel effortless. There’s a kind of magic in how quickly connections form when everyone’s far from home and looking for a sense of belonging.

For example, mere days after meeting fellow writer Kayla in Oaxaca, Mexico, we took a spontaneous weeklong road trip to the beach together, and have been close friends ever since.

And it wasn’t just fellow travelers — many of the locals I met were incredibly open and gracious. In countries where work-life balance is prioritized, there’s more room for relaxed, genuine connections, whether with locals or expats.

Back in the US, I’ve noticed that forming deep connections takes longer and feels more planned.

Social time is scheduled — brunch or drinks, maybe a hike. Everyone’s busy, and with so many of my friends working traditional 9-to-5s, finding good quality time together is harder.

Here, friendship feels more like something you fit into your calendar than something you stumble into naturally.

I know I’m incredibly privileged to have had the freedom to move around the world and now return to my highly developed home country. But even here in the US, we have so much to learn from the rest of the world — about balance, connection, and how we approach daily life.

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